Chapter 2: Passed out
Another day welcomes a new beginning. It’s been a month since Amy started her grand plan. So far she has religiously followed the Zumba fitness regime and progressed through the program. At her heaviest of seventy-six kilograms, she has since reduced to a healthier weight of sixty- five kilograms. Amy has intensified her training by adding weight lifting at the gym to her already high impact Zumba workout. Amy resigned to the fact that if she can’t get to her prime figure at forty-three kilograms, at least she should attain her healthy weight range.
Amy is still actively manning the Chatline. She does well these days with her average call duration of thirty- five minutes compared to the average of ten minutes per call when she first started. She went online to purchase a guide book written by a former Phone Sex Operator. The guide book detailed every taboo subject and the different sex positions you could think of. It’s more like an encyclopedia, really! And with the guide in hand, she had created a persona most men could not resist. Hence it resulted in more talk time for her.
Amy saved half of her one month’s pay from both the waitressing job and the Chatline moonlighting. It’s not much but it will grow overtime. The bulk of the other half of her pay goes towards rent and utilities. Amy still reports to Alma who constantly gives the encouragement Amy needed. Alma even took a step further. She told her clients that she is raising funds for her god daughter to have a career change. When they listen to Alma explaining her goddaughter’s health transformation and she was working towards being a certified Zumba instructor, her clients sportingly left tips for Amy. However, Alma wasn’t going to pass that money to Amy without setting conditions to it.
Amy is more determined to get to the achievable weight of fifty- five kilos. If she gets there, Alma will send her money for her instructor training. Amy has to work continuously for these three years so that she could get a government loan to purchase a flat on her own when she meets the age requirement as a single applicant. Well, it’s only been a month. Amy has a long way to go.
Amy woke up startled. She had a strange dream. In her dream, she sat on a log with her late grandfather on the beach. He told her that she had long forgotten him and that she didn’t love him anymore. She said that it isn’t true. Amy’s grandfather was a true Khalifah for her. To her he was the spark of her faith in Islam. He told her, in the dream, that she has lost the Kaaba in her heart and she should get it back. Just remembering the dream gets her heart pounding. Amy’s eyes instantly filled with tears. When she finally could not hold back anymore, she let out a sorrowful wail. She has truly forgotten the Kaaba.
Days had passed. What seemed like a routine week seemed like a tortured regiment for her. Every time she went to bed, the memory of the dream she had, rushed into her mind. She cannot shut it out. Well, tonight, I am going to do something about it. Amy reaches for her phone and taps the Facebook app. She looked for her friend, Murni. She messaged Murni through Facebook messenger. Hopefully, Murni gets this and replies back. Murni was her friend who, a few years back, had a change of heart. Murni had the enlightenment of Allah. She changed her dressing and took religious classes. Amy was hoping Murni could interpret the dream for her and became her guide in her faith where there was none in her life.
After two days, Murni messaged her back on the messenger. Amy typed her mobile number on the messenger so that Murni could contact her through Whatsapp instead. Amy and Murni messaged back and forth and Amy got her answers. Murni told her where she could go for her religious studies. What Amy failed to mention to Murni is that she was planning to have a child using a sperm donor. Amy knew that IVF was allowed but only with your spouse’s sperm or egg. If Murni knew what Amy was planning, she would not be so accommodating. The only question now is how she can squeeze time for religious classes.
The night falls on a beautiful Thursday night. Amy just finished her Isya prayers. Another month had passed. Today Amy decided to take a rest from waitressing. It’s time to pick up calls from the Chatline. She had been chatting with a certain caller everyday since last Saturday. He goes by the name Nick. They’ve namely had engage in phone sex but Amy was comfortable enough to discuss her plans to get a donor sperm. Nick wasn’t too keen on it. He mention incest could happen if the donor’s children don’t know about one another and that is a major reason why he himself doesn’t want to become a donor. Amy just failed to see the consequences that could arise should she take this route. That made Amy go online to search for more options when getting a donor. She found out that some donors wanted to remain anonymous but many others were quite open to be contacted by their offspring. Some were even open to co-parent.
The clock passed 10.55 p.m. It’s night shift now and she would be paid slightly more. The phone is ringing now. Amy picks up the call. After a whole hour, Amy told the caller she had to put down the phone. Amy spent a whole hour talking about incest. She had enough of the abuses ringing in her ear. It was one of the awful calls she gets. Usually she wouldn’t give a thought to shitty topics like this but if the incest includes bondage, that just throws her off balance. The phone started ringing again. Amy picks up yet another call. What do you know, it’s Nick again! Yes!
Fast forward to Saturday of the same week. Amy has a date with Nick at 7 p.m today. It’s her first date after two years since she dated Jamal. They’ll meet at Sembawang Park to have dinner at the Beaulieu house. Amy was thinking that she should not try too hard to impress but since they’ll be dining in a restaurant by the beach, Amy decided that she could be appropriately dressed. A halter neck dress perhaps?
Amy got out of the cab. She heads towards the Beaulieu house. She saw that the Park seemed popular with fishing hobbyists, campers and full of youth just hanging out with friends. At the entrance stood a well dressed man. His back was facing her. He was almost two heads taller than her and he’s got a bouquet of flowers in his left hand. Amy took out her handphone and dial Nick’s number. The guy she was watching picks up his handphone. And well, the story goes on from there.
A sharp pain shocks Amy out of sleep. She opens her eyes and a face stares one inch away from her face. Ok, I know this face. This is Nick. What is this feeling? Amy realised Nick was inside her slit. Her legs are pushing up and down, raising her arse each time. Nick was fondling her right peak in the bud slit. He looked down and swallowed her left peak. Amy was so overwhelmed and she had never felt so violated. Nick lick on the bud slit of her left peak. Amy felt a rush of hot air in her cervix. And the actions went on until the wee hours of the morning.
Amy managed to get home somehow. She still had their sex scenes playing in her head. She was shocked that she passed out drinking beer after dinner at the Beaulieu house and woke up being fucked. Amidst all that she still manages a few rounds of cervix cum and not just another clit cum. That fact just blows her mind away! Though, still it made her feel like a ragdoll. He should at least have the courtesy to ask for permission.
It has only been a week since they met but Amy had spent three nights more with Nick after the first date. Amy knew it was just so wrong. She just can’t turn him down. All the more reason to lose weight, not just to look good but also it gives her a higher chance of getting pregnant if she is healthier.
Two and a half months had passed since. Amy has reached her targeted goal for her overall health. Alma sent her the funds for her to get certified as a Zumba Instructor and other associated courses. Amy took no time to register herself for the next available classes. Nick had been a great friend and lover although they weren’t having serious commitment. Nick, who is of a Chinese descent, had been asking a lot of questions regarding Amy’s faith and it started with a conversation about circumcision. Amy feels that she wasn’t the best person to give advice so she directed him to Darul Arqam which is an institution that guides new reverts.
Amy was also making progress with her Al- Quran recitation class. Amy didn’t want to leave Nick but she doesn’t want to sin every time she spends time with him. Amy had a deep conversation with Nick. He said he understands but he had voiced out whenever possible, Amy doesn’t make him feel stranded. He still wants to have her at times but he promised it would not be as frequent as what they’ve had earlier on. Amy told Nick if she did ever get pregnant with his child, she intends to raise his baby with or without him but she does hope he would co-parent. Nick promised that he would give it a thought and decide when he is ready.
Nick was such a dream love. Nick actually did some research for Amy. He said that the cost of IVF was cheaper across the border. Amy calculated that she had enough to cover basic costs but she needed to save for other hidden extra charges. It’ll probably take a few more months before she has a comfortable amount for IVF treatment. Even so, Amy secretly wishes she gets pregnant with Nick’s baby and saves the hassle.
Amy is chasing the Zumba certification. She has contacted the Community Center to ask how she could be an Instructor and hold Zumba classes. She would be able to put in less hours but still potentially earn double than what she gets now. She is also finishing her first semester of a two year program in religious studies. Amy feels she is at peace with herself. She is calmer now with a new sense of direction in life and more assured. Nick understands where she is now at in life. Even with less romance in their relationship, it doesn’t affect the affection they share towards each other. Yes, they are officially seeing each other now.
Amy wanted her relationship with Nick to work out badly. It seemed they were getting serious but Amy feels they are barely scratching the surface. They both wanted different things in life. Nick was comfortable with his routine life. He has a stable job. He went to work, went drinking with his friends after work, grabbed dinner with her and went home. Amy wanted much more. She knows some things in her life should be stable. Things like owning a home and a job but she doesn’t want to be fixed to a stationary place. She still has a wandering spirit. She wants to be able to travel on a whim.
Amy has been on an hour-long conversation with Alma. She really needs talk therapy. As Amy has ended her courses apart from her religious studies, they discuss what are her options and the best decisions she should proceed with. Alma did a personality profiling for her. Amy thought nothing of it. To her it was just a bunch of mumbo jumbo. Alma could give her the answers she needed to hear but Alma told her she needed time to process this information before she tells Amy the answers.
Amy reads her diary. It’s been a year. By now, she ought to have been more ready. She took a peek at her bank book. She had almost seventeen thousand dollars. She has some money in her Central Provident Fund accounts. Amy is turning thirty-three years old soon. She still can’t buy her own flat or rent directly from the government because of the minimum age eligibility. Amy had decided she had to relocate to somewhere affordable.
Amy has a Malaysian father. She also has distant relatives in Johor. The culture and language is similar to Singapore. But she is also thinking about moving to Indonesia where the cost of living is considerably lower. Owning a home is definitely a factor other than healthcare and school for her future child.
For a few months, Amy had been teaching Zumba classes at the Community Center, group workouts at various parks and a few gyms. She feels she has enough experience to back her up. Apart from her journey to motherhood journal, she has a travel planner. She had rack up a couple of hours more working and she feels she should travel to different cities to have a feel of the cultural vibe, the people, the amenities and other factors before she decides where she’ll end up relocating. She has finally been able to quit her waitressing job and manning the Chatline completely for the last month on top of the Zumba classes.
Amy had lost interest in Nick. All they had was the best squirts. No amount of physical attraction or sizzling romance can save the relationship. Nick was taking too much time and romancing him takes lots of effort. Her patience is running on empty. He wasn’t giving her what she wanted. All the squirting didn’t get her pregnant. She totally dismissed him from her life.
Amy knew this wasn’t the life she had dreamed of. This wasn’t the life she was taught to have. A good man for a good woman. That’s the thing, she always felt that she doesn’t deserve a better man. She had waited so long for a husband to come along, she thought she probably had to wait all her life. And there’s the longing of becoming a mother. Amy grew up in a very traditional family but when she was growing up, there’s a lot of female domination talk and girl power portrayal in the media. The internet has opened up new possibilities. All of a sudden, women everywhere have their voice heard and they have a lot of choices put on their platter. We have a choice and an outlet to what we say and do towards our bodies. Amy just wanted to shut down the background noise and focus on having the best in life for her. As a young Muslim living in a modern city located in the east with influences from the western societies, she just wants to find the perfect balance and fit in.
Amy took a good long look at her travel journal. It shouldn’t be conflicting with her journey to motherhood journal. Both her plans must be synchronised and complement each other. She took Alma’s recommendations into consideration. Amy is ready to take chances. She figured she could stay put for three months in each city. She could take up odd jobs if she’s lucky. Amy took up some design classes along with some app making classes. She thought of taking up computer programming too, instead she took up a writing course with a well known Independent Author. These are online classes so it could work with her schedule. Teaching Zumba classes is fun but she needs another source of income if she does become pregnant. She has to build up clientele quickly so that she can have multiple streams of income. Amy needed help. She needed a career Guru.
Amy was active on social media especially after she started teaching Zumba. She has a healthy following on different platforms. Amy has been putting in more hours for the Chatline. She also had put her new found skills from the courses she took to good use. She set her profile page on a known freelancer platform. She sets herself as a Graphic Designer for social media content and branding for businesses.
Amy had outlined the chapters for her own eBook. It was highly recommended that a writer has several titles ready and puts them up for sale all at once so that they could be ranked higher on the e-commerce websites. She took the course which gives tips on how to write a book in sixty days. If she could follow the program which ends in three weeks, she’ll complete her first book just in time for her thirty-third birthday.
To be continued…….